For vs Against
Focus on the things you are for, not the things you are against.
Many people spend large chunks of their day thinking about what they hate. They are always telling you about something they dislike: this food, that subject, this political party, that coworker.
You are more than your frustrations. Build your identity around what you love.
— James Clear, author of Atomic Habits and 3-2-1 Newsletter
This is such a mindset shift. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a healthy gripe-session, and there are big, important things in the world to stand firmly against.
BUT, in day to day life, constantly dwelling on our frustrations isn’t helpful.
What do you love? Who do you love? What’s one beautiful thing you saw or read or heard today? What made you smile? What matters to you?
If it’s true, as Annie Dillard said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing,” then it’s worth looking at what it is we are doing. Are we steeped in thoughts and words about the things that irritate us? Or are we moving through our days (and thus, our lives) focused on the good we can find — looking forward with hope and action, to bring about the changes we wish to see?
We are more than our frustrations. Sometimes we just need to remember that.
xo,
Beth
(h/t to Kristen who first got me thinking about James Clear’s quote)