What does it mean to be OK?

Another thought, related to yesterday’s post. Most of the anxiety and fear we experience is based on the worry that we aren’t, or won’t be, OK. We worry that we (or someone we love) won’t be safe, or well, or at peace, or free from pain and suffering. And if we let ourselves go really dark, our ultimate fear is that we (or someone we love) will cease to exist. Each of these things equals “not OK.”

Yes, AND . . .

Can we be afraid and still be OK? Can we be in pain and still be OK? Can we be sick or in difficult financial circumstances or confused or angry or wronged and still be OK?

I think we can. We are complicated and complex beings. If you want to get science-y (and I always do), we have an estimated 86 billion neurons in our brains. They don’t all fire at once, but it’s likely that a few million are firing at any given time. It looks like this:

The point is, that’s A LOT of brain activity going on all the time — every single second. We can, and do, hold many thoughts and feelings at once. So, while I was scared when last week when we learned that my daughter does have a somewhat dreaded offshoot (cervical instability) of one of her chronic illnesses (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Hypermobile Type), today, I know more, we are on the path to addressing this, and ultimately, the situation can be greatly improved — the consequences much less frightening than if we didn’t know about it and didn’t address it.

Meanwhile, she is doing what she does — she’s making progress in her life, she’s signed up for some classes, she’s working each day on her overall wellbeing. We sat together last night and watched Monk on Netflix — an old favorite for both us — and laughed. I’m still a little afraid, but I am OK. And my daughter is dealing with some pain and uncertainty, but most importantly, she is OK, too. Yes, her body aches much of time, and yes, she’s often limited in what she can do, which she (understandably) finds annoying. Yes, this new diagnosis means more doctor’s appointments and hospital visits, which are inconvenient. But she’s here, she’s texting her friends and playing the games she enjoys on her iPad. She’s making art and singing, and playing with her dogs and joking with her dad, and hanging out with her mom who loves her times infinity. We’re dealing with stuff (and who isn’t?) but we’re OK. Maybe you and yours are too. ❤️

Grateful this week for each of you. Thank you for reading.

xo,
Beth

(*Shared with permission from my daughter.)