When it's all a bit too much
One of my favorite writers, Sarah Bessey, wrote a wonderful and timely essay — you won’t regret reading the whole thing, it’s posted on her Field Notes here — about everything being too much, but she showed up at her daughter’s end-of-year school carnival and danced with her girl to Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off.”
Here’s an excerpt:
“But for that one brief, glorious moment in the sunshine at the school carnival, you made your kid happy and you danced.
In the middle of all the heartache and the bills, in the middle of the apocalypse and knowing everything you can’t un-know, in the long list of chores and the ways you’re trying to hold the universe together for one small family, you danced.
Maybe this is for the days when you are becoming well aware that you will not be changing the world, that was an idealist’s dream, and so you are learning to love this world, this small particular place and these particular people, knowing that that was probably the invitation all along anyway.
And while the Top 40 clean versions play on and the kids race off to the next thing, it will be too much joy, all of a sudden. Too much richness, all of a sudden. Too much gratitude, all of a sudden. And you won’t be able to catch your breath for all the thankfulness and sadness and happiness and longing and satisfaction colliding in you. You’ll think to yourself that you should dance more, not to escape this life but to love this life.” — Sarah Bessey
When it all feels like too much, it’s not the world-changing things that shine brightest but the moments within a regular life — the surprise of relief given to a struggling mom; holding the hand of a dying friend; witnessing the love shared among women who have seen each other through decades of messy, beautiful, ridiculous, hilarious life; your dog cuddled just right on a pillow, her face resting on your daughter’s shoulder; a baby, just turned one, who has the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.
Everything is awful and there is still so much beauty and joy and love out there.
Keep an eye out.
xo,
Beth